Needle work for beginners.

She was in stitches…

Raffy closed his eyes, this was becoming a rarity at the moment so we took a chance and got into bed. “Ouchhhh!” I looked at Tash, taking a moment to make sure it wasn’t something I’d done. My toe nails had become quite long and sharp and I’d often accidentally jab her with them. I’d once jumped onto a Lilo, nail slicing through it, leaving me wearing it like a big rubber ring – impressively it was still inflated.

 

Needle work for beginners.
Needle work for beginners.

“My stitches have just gone”
“Gone where?”
“As in ripped! I felt them pull as I laid down”
“You sure you haven’t just caught a bum hair in your pants, I’ve done that, really hurts, like when you pull a nose hai…….”
“SHUT UP I DONT HAVE BUM HAIR AND ITS MY STITCHES…. ”
“Ok ok lay still, have a little sleep and we can discuss tomorrow” – my desperate negotiation attempt to end the conversation so we could get some sleep before he woke up again. The midwife was coming round the next day.

The next morning Tash woke me crying, she had had a look, they had split, the wound had opened up and it looked to be infected and was painful, my heart sank, the only thing I could do was cuddle her. I offered to have a look but knew nothing good could come of me sliding underneath like a mechanic to have a look and the midwife was due soon – although this could be the perfect chance to use my head torch I had got a few Christmases previously and never found a use for.

ginormous-monkey-butt-20161-1240326062-6The midwife turned up, did the normal checks on Raffy, then I proceeded to explain what had happened last night, because I knew she was suffering I was getting anxious. Tash went off to prepare for inspection while I discussed the next steps and possible outcomes, the midwife reassured me :just go to GP’s Monday and grab some antibiotics it’ll be fine”  my mind now at ease, at least it’s not too serious I thought – I bet she did overreact and it was a bum hair

“You need to go to A+E now.”

It was completely infected and the stitches had come open. “Bloody hell you just told me it wasn’t serious now you’re saying we have to go to A+E.!” At this point I was getting a bit anxious (where’s that bloody rescue remedy) I must note I hadn’t seen it and can only go from what they’re telling combined with my imagination. Again, Greys Anatomy has helped me form a visual image. If it had been a heart bypass I could have sprung into action and fixed it there and then in the lounge – eight series of the show will do that to you.

Raffy hadn’t been out before and his first trip was going to be to A+E, thankfully not for him. It’s no toy’r’us but at least I got to use the buggy which until this point had only ever acted as an expensive door stop.

The maternity ward is hidden on the zillionth floor at the back. Their logic, if you can make it past all the people coughing, spluttering, groaning wandering round like they’re drunk after a night at Oceana attempting to reach out and touch your prized possession then you would be welcomed / buzzed in. As I approached the main doors, I flipped up the cover, laid a blanket over the top of the buggy as if to hide him and upped the pace – I blame zombie films for my reaction, either way no one was catching us. Tash limped along behind trying to keep up “I’ll meet you there love” whilst thinking ‘damn, should have asked her PIN numbers incase she doesn’t make it.’

I made it, squirted the alcohol gel and passed through the security doors! In your face zombies!!

The room was empty, this was a good sign, we would be in and out of here quickly and we could get home – I had DIY SOS on pause and had only managed to finish half my bakewell tart.

I was wrong, due to under staffing we were in a queue and 12th (the room was completely empty so no idea who they were referring to), occasionally a doctor would pop his head round a door and apologise and disappear again like whack a mole.
After five hours, a five minute appointment, an inappropriate finger, some antibiotics and a £60 parking ticket, Tash, Raffy, the open wound and I were on our way home.

Not quite the first day out with the bundle of joy we  had in mind, but he had seen the outside world, I had done my first nappy change in public and he hadn’t pissed on me.

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