All posts by Neil Ransome

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The Weaning Of Life

After 8 hours in the hospital jettisoned into the outside world, newborn in one hand, exhausted & stitched up fiancé in the other. The only other thing missing was an instruction manual. We eventually mastered 0-6 months, admittedly turbulently, tired and poorer, but survived nonetheless. Quickly learning nappies have sticky flaps, so after one back to front error, it’s pretty plain sailing and no matter how well done up, poop… Read Article →

6 month milestone

We only bloody did it AND we’re still together. We made it to 6 months! Yes sacrifices have been made, I’ve resorted to cutting my hair shorter to help those frantic mornings, no matter the weather I only wear t-shirts as jumpers don’t fit anymore (baby weight IS A THING) and my toe nails got to the point that they were cutting through every pair of socks. Both of us look… Read Article →

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Festively Plump

I’ve always been big boned, cuddly, festively plump and during some periods in my life just straight up fat. I’m not one of those people blessed with good genes (or jeans for that matter) and my metabolism was replaced by a cheeseburger many years ago. Carrying that extra weight has followed me round all my life, no matter what I cut out, how much I trained or the amount of… Read Article →

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Road To Rafferty… Part 1

Most of my conversations now revolve around being a dad, occasionally unusual topics such as is it OK to have a sit down wee if you’re tired pop into conversation, but ultimately everything ends up circling back to parenting as if every road leads there. ‘I love the new Ferrari……’ ‘its amazing, I wonder if you can get a buggy in?’ On Friday the guys were discussing that moment when… Read Article →

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Barking Mad

We have a little Bichon Frise called Poppy. For some reason it’s a little smaller than the already small breed of dog and now has no front teeth. As a 6’1 tattooed male it makes it a little embarrassing to walk her on my own, one of my personal favorites was someone yelling ‘you’ve dropped your tampon’ as I chased her round the park (she doesn’t listen to me). That… Read Article →

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Siri Seduced Me

The after care since Raffy entered the world was amazing, well apart from our useless GP surgery. I don’t think the receptionist is capable of taking a Big Mac order, let alone booking appointments for people who are clearly unwell and in need of attention from the doctors. I’m pretty confident to say that the increase of visits to A+E in recent reports was mainly down to this girl unable… Read Article →

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Changing The Game

It’s funny how before Raffy arrived I’d never notice signs  for baby changing facilities or if I did it would wash over my head like nail polish discussions or the latest make up brand. Tash was upset when I returned home with a new laptop when I said I was going to buy Mac – I did wonder why she was so supportive. However, when Megatron (story for another time)… Read Article →

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Missionary Impossible

The year was 2014, my trainers were a little whiter, my hair a little less grey and my car didn’t have scuffs on the bumpers or a broken indicator (mainly because I was the only one driving it) As we lay in bed one evening I blurted out “let’s pull the goalie.” Tash just presumed it was another one of my sleep talking episodes which I was prone to, as… Read Article →

Peace and quiet

For crying out loud

“Don’t know what all the fuss is about, this sh**s easy…” Are the words I mumbled while I sipped a freshly ground coffee with my feet up after the first week of being a new dad. I was still fairly fresh faced and smug at the thought I had it nailed. Sleep, wakes up, feed (by that I mean hand to Tash), no need to wind due being breastfed, lay… Read Article →

Needle work for beginners.

She was in stitches…

Raffy closed his eyes, this was becoming a rarity at the moment so we took a chance and got into bed. “Ouchhhh!” I looked at Tash, taking a moment to make sure it wasn’t something I’d done. My toe nails had become quite long and sharp and I’d often accidentally jab her with them. I’d once jumped onto a Lilo, nail slicing through it, leaving me wearing it like a big… Read Article →